By Patrick Reilly, Founder of Resources in Action
Abrasive employees negatively impact their coworkers. The aggressive communication style of “abrasives” creates interpersonal friction that grates on subordinates, peers, superiors and even customers, paralyzing productivity and disrupting the smooth flow of work. Abrasive individuals present a particular problem for Human Resources professionals since they must deal with distressed employees who feel marginalized, as well as senior managers who are often reluctant to take the bull (y) by the horns and rein in the abrasive individual.
The abrasive communication style drives systematic impact on organizational functioning. Recent research by Donna Hicks has identified ten essentials of dignity: Acceptance of Identity, Inclusion, Safety/Comfort, Acknowledgement, Recognition, Fairness, Benefit of the Doubt, Understanding, Independence, and Accountability. When any of these qualities are infringed upon there is a potential cost of withdrawal, conflict, fatigue or lack of focus that limits the potential of the workforce. Abrasive leaders in particular the impact the dignity of employees over time and the costs to productivity and satisfaction can mount significantly.
Abrasives often perform and produce results. Why should we care about the impact on others if they get the job done and generate revenue or develop new products? It is simple—abrasives often put significant projects at risk because other employees withdraw, don’t work as hard as they need to or spend too much time talking with others about how to deal with “him or her.”
Good people quit and some customers move to other service providers because they don’t or can’t work with the abrasive person any longer. It becomes “too much” to work with this person because of his or her abrasive interpersonal style. The way in which these abrasives communicate with others and how they conduct themselves becomes more important than the work itself; it is a trying and emotionally draining effort to work with them. These interactions cost the organization time and money.
So what can Human Resources do to address this behavior? There are three areas of management expertise that need to be developed:
(1) Acquire specialized executive coaching expertise in working directly with the extremely competent but abrasive individual who humiliates, threatens and acts in condescending ways to other employees and customers
(2) Provide influence and management tools and skills that support those employees who have to deal with abrasive individuals
(3) Learn how to work with an organizational system that permits unacceptable workplace behaviors
The problem in most organizations today is that Human Resources professionals are often limited in their capabilities for dealing with abrasives and ill-equipped to handle the impact of abrasive people at work.
The first step on the path to improvement in all three areas is new knowledge and awareness: the “bad” behavior of abrasive individuals is not intentional. They are clueless about their impact on others.
Helping abrasive individuals become more effective usually requires actively supporting the individual in changing some non-productive behaviors. The first critical step is that the abrasive individual needs to become aware of their impact on others.
Abrasives require special handling because they usually can’t change as quickly or easily as others. Here is what is needed:
- A robust support structure
- Specific feedback that helps them learn how they come across to others
- Knowledge about the impact they create
- Focused coaching on the most important behaviors to modify
- Deliberate practice to learn new and more effective behaviors
The other area of needed expertise lies with the organizational system itself. Why do certain organizations permit or tolerate abrasive behavior? Usually it is “bottom line blindness” and lack of leadership courage. Business is essentially about profit and in those organizations that tolerate abrasive behavior there are usually two main reasons for accepting abrasive behavior:
1) The abrasive behavior is tolerated because the abrasive individual performs at a high level. He or she is usually very smart and talented. The individual contributes significantly to the organization’s profitability. The organization that has decided that profit is paramount and has chosen to ignore the long-term costs of an abrasive individual:
- Faces lower morale
- Experiences higher turnover
- Achieves diminished long-term profits
2) The abrasive individual’s superiors do not have the courage or skills to tackle the unacceptable behavior. They tolerate the behavior for fear of losing profits or because they truly don’t know how to help the abrasive change his or her ways.
Human Resources professionals can develop a compelling business case that addresses the costs and consequences of abrasive behavior. When costs are clearly defined they can compel senior management to resolve the problem and implement cost effective solutions.
It is difficult to mount arguments that counter bottom line profitability and to tackle the problems that abrasives present. This work is challenging and the coach or internal employee or manager must be a skillful communicator, be clear about what makes certain strategies work and be committed to tackling tough interpersonal issues.
This is not easy work and is not necessarily the challenge most leaders are trained for. Recent media reports have brought the issue of abrasive individuals, particularly in leadership, into greater awareness. The general public is now acutely aware what the outcome can be when not enough attention is paid to significant behavioral deviations in their organization. Can your organization afford to be added to this list of organizations that permit abrasives to flourish?
If you are looking for a targeted program on dealing effectively with abrasives whether it’s your boss or co-workers, Patrick Reilly and Tony Deblauwe offer a condensed, highly interactive half-day seminar that can give you the tools you need. For more information on this program, please contact Patrick at patrick@resourcesinaction.com
About Patrick Reilly
Patrick has a BA in Psychology from Tufts University and an MA in Organizational Development from the JFK School of Management. He is a Certified Master Business Coach through Leadership University and is certified in the Lore Methodology. He previously served on the Board of the Professional Coaches and Mentors Organization as Vice President of Outreach. He currently is the marketing leader for Alexcel, a group of senior executive coaches: www.thealexcelgroup.com.
